Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Plans to Prosper, Not to Harm
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord. Plans to prosper and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11
This has long been one of my favorite bible verses. It is so reassuring and full of hope, especially when times are hard. For those who've been following along with the saga of our old house vs. new house. You might guess that I have been holding tight to this verse these past few months. Turning over control and anxiety about the vacant nightmare was an almost daily task. Trusting in God, and trying to be willing to accept His plan, His timing, and His will over my own seemed like an endless process.
Waiting for the unknown outcome gave me a big push to fill up my soul with more of Jesus. It was either that or sit around eating chocolate and feeling sorry for myself (which I also did a time or two). The more I filled up my life with thoughts of Him, the less room there was for anxiety, and peace began to prevail.
As I let go of control and trusted God more, I also began to feel gratitude instead of self-pity. I began to look at all God has given me, instead of wonder what He might take away. I began to remember that I have so much, and it is all because of Him. By all logical standards, we should not have the house we built. It is WAY nicer and bigger than we should be able to afford, but God in His grace paved the winding road that made it possible.
So, I began to think.....If God, in His infinite wisdom, saw fit to give us this house, perhaps it was not just to pamper his spoiled kid. Perhaps He had a purpose all along for us having this house. And so I started praying and seeking God's wisdom. I started asking Him how we could use this gift to serve His kingdom.
It was so obvious once I asked. The empty spare bedroom become like an eyesore. It was like it cried out to be filled. I knew that God intended for us to adopt again. To be a family to another child who needs a home. We certainly had room in our hearts and our home to be mommy and daddy to one more. And that brings us to Vishakha.
We probably had no business requesting her file, since, at that time, we still had a vacant rental house eating up every last dime of our income. But after seeing her and reading her profile, I couldn't stop thinking about her. I bugged Ken until he caved in and let me request her file. And after reading through the file, I was so ready to bring her home. (I know...surprise). Ken was very unsure, but God (with very little nagging from me which was not easy) slowly brought him to realize what my heart already knew...We could no more leave her in India than we could abandon one of our children. That's because God already knew that Vishakha was to be our own.
So we decided we wanted to adopt her. We would wait for the rental house to either sell or get rented out again, then we would call the agency to proceed with her adoption. And we didn't have to wait long. I believe it was the same day that I got a call from a somewhat frantic man. His family had just moved here from across the country. They had a house all lined up, but when they got here it was full of toxic mold. They were living in a motel and they needed a house to rent yesterday. They came and looked at the house and moved in right away.
So, it would appear that all this time I was not waiting on God like I thought, but God was waiting on me. Waiting on me to listen and obey and receive another blessing beyond what I asked or imagined. Praise the Lord.