My baby's foster mother

I was reading through some old blogs on the Holt International blog sight, when I recognized a korean woman in a photo. It was Eliza's foster mom. There is a whole blog entry about her and another foster mom when they traveled to the U.S. last November. I knew about her coming, and we were invited to come to Oregon to meet her, but Eliza had only been home a few months at that time. We thought it would have been too much for her to travel, so we sent videos and photos instead. I am so happy I found this article, so I can save it for Eliza. After reading the article, I have even more appreciation than before for this woman who was my daughter's mother for 8 months of her life. I knew she had fostered many children in the 15 years she was a foster mom, but I had no idea that Eliza was her 40th foster child. Even though she had cared for so many children before her, we could tell that she loved Eliza with a mother's love. She was so happy for Eliza to be getting a family, but she also wept for the loss of the child she had nurtured from a tiny preemie to a strong little crawler. She and the many other foster moms are such beautiful women. It is impossible for me to express in words my gratitude for all she gave my child. Here is a link to the blog if you'd like to read it:

http://holtinternational.org/blog/2009/11/a-celebration-of-strength-and-love/

Eliza in Korea with her foster mom


Look at that happy face

Something to think about

I have been reading a book called Crazy Love by Francis Chan. And I must say I am loving it. It is one of those that really makes me think and challenges my thoughts about how I should live my life. I came across this video of the author on youtube. As someone with 2 mortgages, financial stress can be overwhelming. I have often recently asked God to bless us financially, so we no longer have to worry. I have NEVER considered asking to live paycheck to paycheck so we must depend on Him. On the contrary, I am more inclined to ask for Financial Peace. It raises several interesting things for us to consider. Like does it really please God for us to save so much money for our retirement? Would God rather see us spend our excess to feed the multitude of people who are starving, or provide a home to one of the 143 million orphaned children in this world right now? Is it really more important for me to have a financially secure tomorrow, when so many are waiting, hoping someone will help them today, so they can live to see tomorrow? What makes my future comfort more important than the life of someone starving to death while I type this?

Summer Vacation

We had such a fun filled trip last week. Lots and lots of driving, but also a ton of fun and adventure. All the kids did great. Here are just a few of our memories:

Old west style photos from South Dakota (so darn adorable)




Boys!, I said we are getting buffalo BURGERS, not boogers.

The awesome aquarium at the Omaha Zoo

Bear Country near Rapid City South Dakota - very cool! They had cute little baby bears wrestling. Eliza really love it.

Crazy Horse



a mountain top in Keystone, SD




The Mammoth Site - awesome! You gotta see this place if you go to SD.



Garden of the Gods - Colorado






Air Force Acedemy



Rafting the Arkansas River Brown's Canyon - What a blast!

A quick update and farm pictures

It's been a busy few weeks. We've been cleaning and repairing our rental home so we can sell it, and finally it is in good enough condition to sell. As a sidenote, if you are considering being a landlord, I would say run away. The amount of destruction and toxic waste in that house was beyond belief. But it is now clean and for sale. We are quite relieved to be finished with the repairs. Now we just need someone to buy it.

My mom is taking us on vacation this week, and we are so grateful for the much needed break. We're going to Omaha zoo, South Dakota, and finally Colorado, where my brother lives. It should be a lot of fun. I'll be sure to post some pics of our adventure when we get back.

Finally here are some great pics of when we took Eliza to Deanna Rose Farmstead. She loved feeding the baby goats and other animals. She pretty much calls anything with 4 legs, "dog-dog"., but we have 2 dogs, so that is to be expected. She does recognize birds and calls them "Bir". Also, she seems to have a new favorite word, "my!" which translates to "mine!" Yep, she's already starting to act like a 2 year old, and we have 4 months before that happens. Oh boy!

One Year Ago

It was one year ago today that we officially accepted the referral Choe In Ae.


And it was one year ago yesterday that we got the call from Holt asking us to consider making this sweet baby girl our daughter. Now, really, who could resist this precious face?

I don't think I will ever forget that phone call. It was from the Waiting Child Program at Holt. She told me about a tiny little girl who was born 10 weeks premature and only weighed 800 grams (1lb 12oz) at birth. She told me about some of the medical concerns they had for her due to her extreme prematurity. Then she asked if we'd like to look at her file. To which I replied a resounding "Yes!"

We read through the medical file and had it reviewed by a pediatrician before we looked at her pictures. Then after we knew we were comfortable with her potential medical issues, we opened the picture above, and that was that. We fell in love. This child was without a doubt our daughter.

I can't believe it was a year ago. It was the week before Mother's Day last year that I first laid my eyes on my daughter, and this year for mother's day, she became my legal daughter forever and ever. I think my hubby is going to have a difficult time on Mother's Day next year trying to top the past 2 years.

Ours Forever!

Yesterday we went to the county courthouse, stood before the judge and were declared Eliza's legal parents. She has been our daughter in our hearts for almost a year now, when we first saw her picture, but now she is officially ours in the eyes of the law . What a joyous day it was as we celebrated our forever family. She is also an American Citizen now, hence all the red, white and blue.

Song of my heart

I've seen dreams that move the mountains

Hope that doesn't ever end

Even when the sky is falling

And I've seen miracles just happen

Silent prayers get answered

Broken hearts become brand new

THAT"S WHAT FAITH CAN DO! ~ Kutless

I love this song. It is so inspiring to me these days when I feel like I don't know what the heck God is doing. I am reminded that I have felt this way before; desperate for answers, confused, impatient, lost, anxious, weary, like God has stopped listening to me, like maybe he's on vacation or something. I pray without answers. I believe that He has great plans for me, but I just ain't seein' 'em right now. BUT THEN...

I remember past times when I felt this way. Those are the times right before He bombards me with His love and faithfulness in ways that are so much more that what I asked of Him. Those are the moments just before He makes my broken heart become brand new. This is why I remain full of hope even when the sky is falling. Because He has answered my silent prayers before. Sometimes He has even answered the prayers I dared not pray, even in silence, because He knows even the most hidden parts of my heart. He has moved mountains to make my dreams come true before. SO...

I wait in expectation of something amazingly spectacular. I wait for my God to show me, once again, that He is WAY more than I give Him credit for. I wait to be overwhelmed by the passionate, radical love my Father has for his little girl. - That's what faith can do.

Wordless Wednesday - Got Milkshake???

My other Isaac

Three weeks ago, upon finding out that the sale of our rental property was falling through and our renters are moving out, we decided to list our new home for sale. We intend to list the rental property as well and live in whichever one doesn't sell first. This has been a very up and down struggle for both Ken and I.

You see, when we built this home, we put A LOT of ourselves into it. I designed the floorplan myself to perfectly fit our family. We did much of the construction including the electrical, plumbing, flooring, cabinets, brick driveway, paint, and we just this week completed the finished walkout basement. Every detail of this house is a reminder of the year of serious labor we endured. Ken and I both have ongoing physical aches that still bother us 2 years later for the work we did on this house. But, I look out the window as I do dished, and I am greeted with the serene view of the lake and the reflections of trees bouncing off the glassy water. It somehow makes dishes seem not so bad. We love this house. Maybe too much. This is our struggle.

This house has so much of us in it that it almost feels like part of the family. I know that sounds weird, but if you have every labored and toiled to create something perhaps you know what I mean.

Somewhere along the line, it became apparent to us that God was calling us to offer up our creation. Both of us stood in defiance of this at first, but eventually agreed that indeed we should put our dream home on the market. We both felt physically ill as we signed the real estate papers. Is this ,in a small way, how Abraham felt when God asked him to let go of his precious Isaac? Is God testing us to make sure we have not made an false idol of our dwelling place? I don't know. We obey His call on our lives, though we do not understand it. We are, in a sense, offering up our Isaac (meaning our home, not to be confused with our son, Isaac).

It's a date!

We finally have a court date to finalize Eliza's adoption. On May 4th, 2010, she will officially become our daughter forever, and an American citizen. Of course, to us, she has been our daughter since we first saw her face. Now to find the perfect red white and blue outfit.